Complications

So, I have had this absolutely horrible pain in my side, just above the incision since I was in the hospital. It has been more painful than the actual incision, and the pain has always felt different than that of the incision. I told the nurses about it, and actually woke up one night crying because I was in such pain. The nurses told me that it was probably just bruised or they might have pulled harder on that side or something. One nurse told me it was my fault for laying on my side! I mean...what did she expect...that I lay on my back and not move for 3 days straight?! She then went on to say that there was nothing she could do.

Since I have been home, all the pain from the incision and all over inside has gotten quite a bit better, although, this pain in my side actually seems to be getting worse. I woke up yesterday again in tears because of the incredible amount of pain I was in. I went in to the doctor to see what this pain could be. He pressed down all over on my abdomen, just above the incision, which hurt a lot. Then he pressed down on my abdomen on the left side, right on the spot that hurts, and I lost it. I cried out in pain and started crying, uncontrollably. I actually pushed his hand away, without even being able to stop myself. He then went on to explain that the incision on the outside was done very low, but that there are other incisions on the inside that are higher up, and also cut vertically on the sides. He said that he can feel a nodule about 1/4 of an inch wide, and that there is a nerve that got tied up in the suture. He told me that there was nothing that could be done other than to wait for the suture to dissolve in 4 weeks, and to manage my pain. I didn't even know what to say.

Today has been horrible. I am very sore from the doctor pushing on my abdomen, and my side was hurting more than it ever has. I had gotten out of bed for only about 20 minutes to just call a few clients who I needed to get back to, and then came back to get into bed, and all of a sudden my side flared up with pain. I stood, bent over, at the side of my bed crying in pain. Hannah came in and instantly ran downstairs to get Mitch. He helped me into bed, and went to call the doctor. He prescribed a stronger dose of medication, which barely takes the edge off.

I am so tired of laying in bed and being in pain. I want to go and do stuff with Hannah and Sydney. I feel guilty for not being able to play with them. I am worried that they feel neglected by me and that I am only doing stuff for the baby. Hannah was really acting up this morning and was very mouthy to her Grandma, which she NEVER is! I've never heard her speak to anyone like she did today. I am not sure if she's just starting a new phase or if she is acting up because of the baby and my being practically absent from her life for the last week.

Anyway, I am anxious for these next 3 weeks to go by quickly so I can finally get up and feel normal again.